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“Do you want to hear about my night?”“Fuck no,” Debbie replied. “The shower’s hot, and I’ve got a special treat for Mr. Twinkie.”“And Mr. Twinkie’s got a special treat for Miss Peppermint Patty,” Nick said, giving his chilly shrunken friend a warming growth shake. “You know, my pole always points your way, babe, magnetic and true.”“Oh, fuck,” Debbie gasped. “Don’t go ruining the mood with that crap. Go shower for fuck’s sake. I’ll be in the bedroom.”As Nick waddled away with hot rummy in his tummy, Debbie noticed the courier elf sliding up the icy walk.“It’s about fucking time,” she scolded him as he handed her a USB key.“Our apologies, Mrs. Claus. There were some… production issues.”“What do you mean?”Before answering, the nervous elf gathered the clothing bin and rolled it out the front door, keeping it between him and her visible anger. He knew her fury. Until his demotion, he was lead elf on Project Rudolph.“There were some artistic differences in the editing room, but they were. Martínez said, “but given the holiday we can be flexible.” She almost giggled, I swear.Spoken by someone who knew what her guests were likely to look like early in the morning after the previous night’s activities.I smiled.“Thank you, Sra. Martínez.”After she left I washed up and changed my shirt and set out for the plaza. It was still relatively early for things to get into their full riot mode but the musicians were spirited and the pots over the cooking fires sent their “Eat me” messages straight to my gut.Street food in this country is a crapshoot. I’d had mixed luck and I figured I’d better wait until I found Sofía or one of her siblings to lead me to likely vendors. Not long ago I read a book, really a compilation of his blog posts, by a guy who ate his way north to south in Vietnam, eating street food all the way. He said he only got sick once or twice, which seems unbelievable. On the other hand, even if Americans obsess too much over their insides, I had no desire to spend.
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